and this is the part when we say we're in love
by howlsatthemoon
Summary: But God, she's gorgeous and fabulous and perfect, but she's not Lily. She's never been Lily, and she never will be Lily. / In which Teddy's nothing but a coward. Victoire/Teddy/Lily.


_Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

I confess, when I found out this was the prompt I listened to the Glee cover for inspiration, not the original. I'm horrible. But I couldn't resist the call of Jonathan Groff. (: So I adore Teddy and if I ever met him I'd probably screech and kiss his shoes and worship him, but I wanted to see if I could portray him in a really bad light and see if I could hate him, even for a little while, just as a challenge to myself. (:

For the Hogwarts Online prompt of the day: _"In my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times." _(Title is from the song When We Say (Juicebox) by AJ Rafael.)

_Listen to_: Hello by Lionel Richie (or the Glee version with Lea Michele and Jonathan Groff)

-;-

_and this is the part when we say we're in love_

_i long to see the sunlight in your hair  
__and tell you time and time again how much i care_

(Lionel Richie)

_Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this witch and this wizard in holy matrimony…_

Your hands are gripping each other so tightly they're numb, and you fake a smile but you know for sure there is one red-headed girl out there glaring at you with the utmost intensity who knows that you are anything but smiling. And you think maybe you can get out of this. You think maybe you can walk away and marry _her _because God knows you would in a heartbeat, but it's all too late and you're standing up here at the altar waiting to give yourself away when someone already has you.

You look out into the audience and try to find her green eyes. You spot her thin figure, strong and silent, in the very last row, in the seat closest to the door. Beside her is Roxanne, stroking her fingers and whispering comforts that don't disguise the pain in her eyes. They meet your grey ones with stormy anger and bittersweet tears and all it says is goodbyegoodbyegoodbye. Your heart hurts and your stomach flips and you hate this so much.

_Do you, Theodore Remus Lupin, take Victoire Gabrielle Weasley to be your lawfully wedded wife…?_

She's trying so very hard not to cry; you can tell by the paleness of her high cheekbones and the way her hands are clasped in Roxanne's. She looks away from your gaze and glances outside, where the sky is on fire and the sun is disappearing.

You don't want to marry anybody but her. You realize this too late.

And she could be dressed in jeans and a ragged t-shirt, with no makeup on and dirt on her face and she'd be the most gorgeous thing in the world. But here she is in another one of dresses with the too-short hem and the low-cut top with sparkly blue eyeshadow (it matches your hair) and deadly red lipstick and you feel so fucking sorry for yourself it's not even funny because somebody in this goddamn world loves her (but no one could ever love her more than you) and they're going to steal her away and you'll only be able to watch and hurt.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Your heart pounds against your chest as the words of the priest go through your ears, unimportant. She is the only thing you see. The entire room is blurry and a single bead of cold sweat traces an invisible trail down your forehead and you want to throw up you're so nervous (and it's not because Victoire's just entered the room, clutching her father's arm.)

You drag your eyes away from hers and look at Victoire, _really _look at her. But God, she's gorgeous and fabulous and perfect, but she's _not_ Lily. She's never been Lily, she never will be Lily, and Lily is all you want and you're a dead man walking without her.

Victoire smiles and you hate this.

"I do," you manage to choke out, but your heart screams, "_No!"_

_Do you, Victoire Gabrielle Weasley, take Theodore Remus Lupin to be your lawfully wedded husband…?_

You almost want to laugh bitterly because really, is there any other answer to this question? It's mean and vicious and so very fucking true, because everyone knows Victoire's wanted the whole white picket fence and rosebush package since she first realized she could twist a boy around her finger with a single wink of her long black eyelashes.

And God, Lily's never asked for anything but a dragon and a bed and a sunset to watch and a sunrise to wake to and _you_, mostly just _you_, and you couldn't do that for her?

You hate yourself.

You wonder if Lily knows how much you love her. Does that sound cliché? Does it sound trite as you ponder how much you _care_, how much she _matters_, how many times her smirking face will cross your mind through the course of a single day? Does she know that in your dreams you've kissed her lips a thousand times? Does she know that in your thoughts you've admitted you loved her fearlessly? Does she know that in your mind she is yours and you are hers and in the midst of death and hurt and pain, you two are together? Does she know that you love her, even?

As you torture yourself in your own little crucifixion, Victoire's sweet voice murmurs a clear, "I do."

_If any person may not show just cause why they may not be joined together, speak now or forever hold your peace._

And then hope fills you. You've always been filled with fear and afraid to hurt people (even the deserving) and here Lily is, Slytherin-sorted but with so much bravery and so much fearlessness flooding her heart that you are sure she can do anything, really truly.

She will save you.

You swallow a laugh because you've always wanted to save _her_, and here you are, a prince in distress, waiting to be rescued by Princess Charming.

You wait calmly and surely for Lily to stand, for Lily to demand for you to be hers, to stop this chaos.

Lily stands, back straight, chin high, her eyes boring into yours. She steps forward, and Roxanne's white-knuckled fingers fall away. Lily opens her mouth, takes in a breath, and walks straight out the door.

_I now pronounce you man and wife._

You feel like a coward.


End file.
